For the past five years, I’ve been following Kain Ramsay and have attended his course on modern applied psychology, as well as read his book titled ‘Responsibility Rebellion.’ The opening lines of the book are very remarkable, stating, “There are very few people in this world who haven’t, at one point in their life, had an extremely messed up relationship with themselves.” The book is very interesting, and I am particularly drawn to the story called ‘Margaret’s Bird.’ The story paints a vivid picture of the struggle between comfort and freedom that many of us face in our lives.
Throughout the winter months, Margaret’s bird would sit in its cage in the corner of her living room. She had an open fire to keep the house warm, and during the nighttime, she would put a blanket over the cage where he would sleep. However, in the summertime, Margaret would pick up the bird cage from the corner of her living room, take him through, and place him next to a table which was next to the kitchen window. On the really nice days, which were few and far between, Margaret would open up the kitchen window so her little bird could look out. Margaret genuinely believed she was doing a good turn by her bird during those summer months. However, the reality was that those months were like torment in hell for her poor bird. During the winter months, the little bird was comfortable, content, and at peace with himself. However, when it got to summer, the little bird would look out the window and compare himself to all those other birds outside flying around free. He came to the realization that he was a caged bird. He realized he wasn’t free.
Then one day, late in the summer, it was Margaret’s shopping day. The window was open for the bird to look out. As she left the house to go to the shops, she had shut the door behind her and a gust of wind had blown through the house, knocking the door of the bird cage open. This was the little bird’s chance. Here he was, sitting there for a few moments, humming and hawing, thinking to himself, ‘Will I, won’t I, should I, shouldn’t I?’
In this state of indecisiveness and procrastination, the bird couldn’t make a decision. He struggled because he liked living with Margaret, he knew he had his own comforts and he liked them. He’d become really attached to them but whilst they were nice, they didn’t offer him any fulfillment because he wasn’t free. He thought to himself what it would be like to fly with all the other birds, to eat worms from the grass, to have a family, and what else was possible?
Then he thought of Margaret and how well she treated him. She would take good care of him. He was well-treated here and had everything he needed. The thought of staying with Margaret brought the bird comfort but he wasn’t fulfilled or at peace. The little bird realized he was just existing, going through life. He wasn’t going anywhere and just sitting in a birdcage watching life go by not being free. The little bird sat going back and forth about what to decision to make.
Margaret walked in. This was his last chance to fly out the window. He didn’t. Realizing the door of the bird cage was open, Margaret grabbed the cage, closed the door, took him back through to the living room, and placed him back on the perch in the corner where she put a blanket over the cage. The little bird then proceeded to fall asleep.
The story ends there!!!
I genuinely do understand when clients say they’re looking for a change, but don’t know what it is yet or how to achieve it. Because I have been there, done that and thankfully was lucky enough to walk away to now be doing a job where I never have to think “Thank God it’s Friday (TGIF).”
