Yesterday, I had a long and very good conversation with a very good friend of mine. He has a sound education and earns a handsome money. Yet, he is unhappy in the sense that he feels many of the people in his workspace are dragging him down. “They often belittle me,” he said.
I asked him the following questions.
- Why are you thinking that people are dragging you down?
- In which situation do you feel that people are belittling you?
- What is the evidence of that?
- What different behavior do you expect from them? Is it possible to change them?
“You can’t change the people, but you can change yourself,” I added. I also told him not to believe everything his mind tells him. Sometimes, our thoughts about things and events are not realistic. I explained that if they are truly humiliating you or dragging you down, it is entirely your responsibility to allow them to hurt you or not. On the other hand, if they are really focusing on you and have envy for you, it means that you are valuable.
So cheer up, walk on the right path, have confidence, and love yourself; there won’t be anyone in this world to humiliate you unless you permit them to.
He smiled, and we walked apart.
I genuinely do understand when clients say they’re looking for a change, but don’t know what it is yet or how to achieve it. Because I have been there, done that and thankfully was lucky enough to walk away to now be doing a job where I never have to think “Thank God it’s Friday (TGIF).”
