The story is vivid in my mind that goes something like this– “A man went to a psychiatrist and asked to help him. The psychiatrist asked about his problem. He explained about his suicidal ideation, depression, anxious feelings as the chief complaints. The doctor conducted all tests and intervention; then said . ‘I can’t find anything wrong with you but I can make you a suggestion.’
What is that?–the man curiously asked. The doctor replied –“There is a circus going in this town. Why don’t you go there twice a day? I am sure you will really enjoy yourself and have a good time as they have a clown who makes you laugh hysterically. You know what?—He is really funny and has a great sense of humor.”
The man was puzzled and slowly said–“You know what doctor?—I am that clown.” The above fable portrays the public success but private failure.
The following illustrations more clearly depicts the examples of Public Success but Private Failure.
- Hiroo Onoda, an Imperial Japanese Army Officer, was sent to the small island of Lubang in western Philippines to spy on U.S. forces in the area in 1994. Allied forces defeated the Japanese imperial army in the Philippines in the latter stages of the war, but Onoda evaded capture. While most of the Japanese troops on the island withdrew or surrendered in the face of oncoming American forces, Onoda and a few fellow hid in the jungles, banishing the messages saying the war was over. He spent his entire 29 years of life in the jungles of Philippines distrusting the fact that the war was over and Japan did surrender. His former commanding officer traveled to Lubang to see him and tell him he was released from his military duties. In his battered old army uniform, Onoda handed over his sword, nearly 30 years after Japan surrendered. The Philippines government pardoned him about his misdeeds and casualties; and he successfully went to Japan. In Japan, he was considered as a war hero and various recognitions and appreciations were given.
After his return to Japan, he moved to Brazil in 1975 and set up a cattle ranch. Onada felt that Japan’s philosophy and ideas changed dramatically after World War II. Due to clash of philosophy, he no longer liked to live in Japan and went to live in Brazil. He is still remembered and considered as a war hero; but all his 29 years of life went in vain.
- Dr. John Gray, the author of one of the best books in the world named Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus, has helped many families from breaking down and played vital role to establish effective relationships. But unfortunately, he himself got divorced.
- Diego Maradona, still known as hand of god and considered the best footballer failed a drug test for cocaine and was sent home from the 1994 World Cup after testing positive for a banned stimulant. After that his whole career was doomed. Still he has a public favor, but privately he couldn’t do much as he intended to do.
Many times, we knowingly or unknowingly fall into the trap of maintaining a lifestyle, which results the Public Success but Private Failure. That’s why it is very much important to look inward. Perhaps, the phrase–“Know Thyself” is quite familiar among us. In other words, we must look inward before acting outwardly. Day by day we should ask the question to self–Are we on the verge of failures trying to be publicly successful? Are we deteriorating trying to proof others? Are we degrading for the shake of upgrading for others?
Thank You,
I genuinely do understand when clients say they’re looking for a change, but don’t know what it is yet or how to achieve it. Because I have been there, done that and thankfully was lucky enough to walk away to now be doing a job where I never have to think “Thank God it’s Friday (TGIF).”
